8/7/2005
Every once and awhile do you find yourself saying horrible things? Can a stranger raise your ire? This weekend I was rude to someone and I’ve since repented, though I still need to apologize to the old lady. Yes I said old lady.
I think we are all familiar with the person in our neighbourhood who constantly monitors peoples actions and is bold enough and bored enough to ensure they know what’s what. We have at least 3 of these in my townhouse complex. I call them the playground nazis. If someone over a certain age, say sits on a piece of playground equipment these women come out of their houses to make sure they get off or at least told off. The youth get a hard time in particular. Weekly revisions to the playground rules are distributed to each household. My encounter wasn’t over this issue but gives some context to the brash tongue your about to read unleashed. I’ve had one of these ladies tell me I could be on the equipment with my kids as long as I didn’t go on the slide. What? Are you insane? So I can get on the playground in any fashion but I just can’t get down the easiest way. I can’t play with my children? The space I take up on the playground must be confined to arches and bars (their are no steps)? Have you ever managed 2 toddlers in an open play area?
Anyways, Joshua, Brigs and I were walking peacefully around our complex—and quietly (surprising actually). The complex has walkways going adjacent to everyone’s backyards. I say backyards but there is no fence separating these open spaces. We have family housing and a small senior set of housing. As we were walking down one of these public walkways a lady steps out of her backdoor and says “You can’t be walking back here.”
To which I said, “I’ll walk wherever I please thankyou.”
Her cantankerous reply “Oh know you won’t, we live here.”
“I live here too.”
I can’t remember what she said next but my next mature reply was along the lines of “Why don’t you come out here and make me.” She said something about looking into making sure I never came through here and then gave a real cold stare, the kind only a woman can give. My kids weren’t inclined to leave just yet so in response to this stare I said, “I don’t understand what the problem is? You don’t like people walking by on the sidewalk? If it’s such a problem why don’t you close your eyes?”
That ended the conflict, but started the internal one I’d feel a few minutes later. I’ve since prayed about the matter and sought forgiveness, but now I’ll have to swallow my pride and apologize for my treatment of this woman. This is one of those situations where I still disagree over the matter but I also disagree with how I handled it—which is extremely poorly. I’ll update you on my future apology. I’m determined to keep my tongue in better check, and handle things with some class. I’m still in shock with myself. Just remember, there is still good in me.
5/26/2005
I have four boys and I worry about the influence our immodest world may have on them (and on me). It is a rare to find a store that doesn’t stock magazines adorned in flesh. Inevitably this translates into a flesh revealing world. Perhaps this is one of the benefits of living in Canada—most months are too cool for exposed skin. Why do I worry? I worry how the constant image and presentation of immodesty affects their view of women, and that its prevalence may dull them to values I hold dear: the sanctity of womanhood and the body. I admire the musician, actor, or anyone, who excels based on their talent instead of offering up their body in saddening compensation.
Apparently there are some who agree with me. Enter Chelsea Rippy. Rippy designed her own line of line of stretchy T-shirts and camisoles that can be worn under today’s most revealing clothes. Quoted in the same article, is Diane Glass, “The modesty movement may seem like a wholesome trend, but it is probably one of the oldest forms of female control.” Diane Glass has a master’s degree from Harvard Divinity School—for all that’s worth. She argues that some religions have dictated women’s clothing for ages, and adds that less emphasis should be placed on women’s clothing and more on men taking responsibility for their ability to control themselves.
Control themselves indeed, Ms. Glass, but let us not forget the best way to survive temptation is prevention. Clearly, there is a paralleled need for women to exert some restraint of raiment.
I have no idea about Ms. Glass’s background but she’s clearly bought into the feminist-oppressed movement, and her sophistry seems entirely misdirected. It reminds me of my first year treatise on Shakespeare’s 138 sonnet or When My Love Swears She is Made of Truth. I totally missed the point and spirit of the poem because I had just gotten dumped, and I wrote all of my grief anger and despair into my review. Now of course I realise, in a simple analysis, it is a poem about dearly loving someone; even in, and completely aware of, their faults.
My mother and father taught me the importance of modesty and respect between sexes. In turn, I hope my teaching will aid my boys in avoiding the pitfalls of a wanderlust lust. I’m proud to have a love who is both hottest and modest, though I’ll admit— it is still pretty hard to control myself in her presence. 
5/18/2005
Our lovely corrupt Liberal government has managed to score a powerful blow to the opposition party by courting over one of the Conservative party’s leading stars, Belinda Stronach. “I had to do some real soul-searching,” Belinda said in an interview. Yeah, the Human Resource Minister post, in the Prime Minister’s cabinet, probably had nothing to do with it. I’m shocked and at the same time not surprised at all. Shocked that someone who recently ran for the Conservative Party Leadership, and was also dating high-ranking Conservative party MP, Peter McKay, could up and switch sides. But not surprised at all that the Liberals, desperate to pass their budget, would go to such depths. I wouldn’t be surprised if they coached her statement on how she didn’t like the direction Stephen Harper is taking the party, and that it was all in the name of preventing separatism. Hogwash.
I’m tired of Canadians who think all that motivates Stephen Harper is power. Who goes into government hoping to be a minority party, with the slim chance of ever passing significant legislation? Certainly this explains Stronach’s actions perfectly—she just couldn’t wait for the Liberals to topple over (and maybe they won’t). But isn’t it possible that the Liberal government is corrupt (did I say possible? I meant proven historical fact) and that Mr. Harper would like to see an end of to that? Of course he wants to be the Prime Minister, every party leader is vying for that job. But he’s hardly a lustful fist-clenching Stalin. He might actually have a few good ideas up his sleeve. Where I will criticise Mr. Harper is his inability to respond effectively to the Liberal twists and scare tactics used to spook our citizenry. Maybe I’m watching the wrong news outlet, but he needs to come up with more convincing arguments than “corruption, corruption” before Canadians are going to trust him and stop believing what the Liberals are whispering about his hidden motives.
Honestly, I wonder how many Canadians are just totally apathetic to it all.
4/17/2005
I’ve been trained in critical thinking in a variety of ways-schooling, teaching, employment, etc. I also have a tendency to dish out criticism. I try to give positive feedback as well, or make it constructive and not demeaning; depending on who you are I might lighten up the tone or just deliver it straight up. Sometimes I’m extra nice about it but probably never as nice as some would like me to be. I’m sure a few of you are having some flashbacks and probably mostly of times when I was less than delicate in my opinions. All too often in the interest of time (or when I have no sense of patience or tact) I just cut to the chase and deliver my criticism with brevity and force.
I love and hate this quality that I have developed. I like being able to think about things from multiple angles attempting to consider several viewpoints while forming opinions and decisions. But I hate when I can’t/don’t keep my mouth shut, and hurt someone’s feelings. Of course I can keep my mouth shut, but sometimes I let feelings of concern, injustice, frustration, or incredulity overpower tolerance, restraint and wisdom.
I know that there are moments when something should and must be said, or just moments where another viewpoint is helpful. I also know that some people just can’t handle criticism—in any form. Those of us in the outspoken critical camp like to pacify our worries by saying “we’re right” but I often wonder if being right is reason enough to speak.
Of course I realize that the one word answer to this is: depends.
Most of all I wish I had the ability and patience to read people and offer up criticism they would be thankful for. Two thoughts come to mind:
People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care
and
If you can’t say something nice don’t say anything at all
A long time ago I read something to the effect that one of the greatest ways to improve your character would be to ask those closest to you to write you up a list of character traits, habits etc. that you needed to work on or improve. The idea being that we all have blindspots or perceptions we can’t see and sometimes need to actually be told by someone our faults to be jolted into change. This has really helped me in welcoming some criticism into my life when it comes along. Analyzing personal criticism that has come my way has also taught me to ask or tell myself the following:
- how can I truly benefit from this
- rather than totally rejecting criticism, considering how even the smallest sliver in my conduct, actions, etc. could give that perception
- consider the source
- avoid being defensive and offensive
I didn’t start off this post with this ending in mind but here’s your chance people:
What three things could I most improve on? Please don’t give me any sappy compliments or avoid giving any criticism (or helpful hints, suggestions, or any number of synonyms you’d prefer). I can take it. Morever I would appreciate it.
12/16/2004
I didn’t really do much today, at least it didn’t feel like it. I did update a few portions of the Muirhead Kingdom website by adding photos of some beloved family members and other things. I also scored as a Dad by suggesting my son have a sleepover on a school night. Imagine a school night sleepover- pffttt is such a thing even legal? I don’t think in my entire life was I ever permitted a school night sleepover. It’s my little way of rebelling against the pyscho school boards for having school booked so late into December. I’ll keep my kid and his friends up late and then send them to school-take that! I’ll also be pulling him out early to boot. Now before all you responsible people start gasping for air don’t worry I got school work for Dylan to do for those missed days. Truly I am the parent extraordinaire. In fact I’m running for the PTA next year. I’ll start by making false promises like easier fundraisers and shorter meetings-then I’ll use all the money to throw one kicking party. Perhaps not. Are PTA presidents even allowed to be male? I don’t mean technically but in reality, does it ever happen. I doubt it.
