I’ve got alot on the brain these days so thanks for bearing with me as I deal with alot of internal conflict and decision making. I’m missing my hubby, missing my Dylan, crazed by the three younger kiddos, swamped in Boutique Cafe, and feeling the need to connect individually with each and every friend I have in town. I’m feeling alot of upheaval, and yet I really can’t share why at this point - at least not on my blog. Our lives have been chalk full of change over the past several years, and this time of year always throws me a bit into a whirlwind. I like things to be set (a clear picture) and at the moment they are not, I also have yet another son ready to get into Kindergarten. It’s going to be an interesting year, and though eventually I embrace changes I find that I resist it initially and can think of nothing else. Can I be more vague? LOL! Well it’s more than one specific thing, it’s many little things all totaled together that cause such an outburst of vague ambivalence. Don’t worry this isn’t some strange cry for help, mearly the sensation that comes from spilling something out on the floor and stepping back to look at it before you clean it up.

I’m happy, and healthier than I’ve been in about 8 or 9 years so that’s a bonus. But my kids lives are changing before my eyes and I want them to just stay put in their cuteness. I’m grateful, and I’m feeling there’s something that I’m supposed to do or be doing that I’m not right now (no not the laundry although that’s a really good guess). I think I have a purpose that I have not yet discovered, it freaks me out to think that, as I’m often content to immerse myself in what I’m already doing. Why do I consistently find myself in situations that push the boundaries of my comfort zone? Dang it I hate growing, I won’t do it, you can’t make me…and then I give in and grow just a little.

PS - thank you to Nicole today who called at an opportune moment to remind me that emergency procedures need to be reported via phone call! ROTFL I love you Nicole. Thanks for bearing with my scatterbrain, somedays I forget who I tell things to. I did call Bjorn from the hospital when we were there waiting to see if he could do the stitches instead, but you guys were out and then I lost my mind. L!