Honey I adore you - you know I do but I have a bone to pick with you buddy and it might as well be here for all to see!!
This morning while dropping off my Dental Student husband at the hospital so he could go on rotations, he pulled into the paid parking lot and hopped out of the van. Kissing me and the kids goodbye for the day I watched him happily jump into the elevator on his way to his big day. I hobbled around the car, buckled up my big belly and started to drive to the exit. (you know, the kind with the big old Imposing arm that holds you in until you pay?). I reached onto the dash to grab the little parking ticket and my heart sank…he took it with him! Oh great, I have no idea where in that huge hospital to find him, I’m having contractions and have two kids under 3 with me - I’m not about to drag them kicking and screaming through the sterile corridors just for a measly ticket.
I then have a brainstorm…I pull up to the entrance and hop out of the van, I press the button thinking I’m brilliant and that I’ll just get a NEW ticket and be on my way. No chance baby, thanks for playing. Apparently the wise parking ticket police have set it up so that you actually need the weight of a vehicle on their sensor in order to have a ticket come out. I look at my ever growing belly and start wondering to myself if I can just jump the right way maybe the sensor could still pick up the weight of my 8 month preggo body and think that I’m a car!! I don’t know if I felt more elated or annoyed that it didn’t work but hey I’m sure the older gentleman at the front door in his hospital gown, smoking his cigs got a good laugh out of it. (*note to self…when feeling fat remember you don’t weight as much as your van!). I must admit in my frustration that I did think they were pretty brillian,t after all if it weren’t the case many people who park there for days on end would be able to just run up to the front gate pay a buck and be happy little fools that they were brilliant like me!
I got back into the van and finally succumbed to the realization that I had no more light bulb moments on the way, Begging was my only option now. As I approached the exit there is no attendant in sight only a big red sign that reads…HAVE YOUR TICKET READY, NO ATTENDANT ON DUTY. Umm…can I cry now? I drive up to the gate and push the HELP ME I’m TRAPPED and have exhausted all possibilities button, The cars and vans are lining up behind me, children are getting older, people are getting cranky, horns start beeping, I’m sure I was called a few interesting names as I waited for the response on the speaker. I plead my case and the lady LAUGHED at me! YEP she laughed (she’d been watching the whole thing on the video feed of the parking lot!!). Kindly she said “just hang on one second” and punched in some numbers into her control panel…suddenly I was free! Free to drive….free to breathe again…free to leave that darn hospital. The kids even cheered (of their own accord) when we started to move.
Yes every word is true! Yes….hubby is in for it when he gets home. I doubt that I even need to mention he’ll be riding on the bus tonight, this taxi has taken her last passenger for the day!